Forgotten

When there's a mutual importantness* of two people to each other, then one of them just kind of wanders away over time without any explicit break, should the other...

allow that person to leave, knowing that if she had any genuine interest in maintaining the connection, that she'd act on it? and that if she doesn't, then there's no potential-continuation-of-relationship to worry about?

or seek that person out to simply say "You are still important to me. Please remember that."?

I never (as far as I know) have forgotten anyone I've had a relationship with, minor or major. Friends, flings, lovers, collaborators, conspirators, partners in crime, etc. And unless if there's some Bad Thing that gave me reason to break off the connection, I want to maintain all of those relationships, even if there's time and distance separating me from the other person. So it's really fucking aggravating to be forgotten by someone who's important to me.

So, again, is it better to accept the fact that you can't control how important you are to someone and let them disappear, or is it better to try to communicate to the person that you love her and always expected her to be a permanent part of your life?

• Drinkin' lots of rum tonight!

I wish I had been there. I feel like I really missed out. How was I forgotten? I thought we were friends, I guess others just out do me. I didn't realize it mattered to me so much, but I guess it does.

I want you to approve of me.

It's 11 o'clock. I should be going to sleep, and I will go to sleep, as soon as I get the call from my mom. I just need to know that she will be home soon. I just need to know that she is safe. She didn't come home again last night, and I just want to know that she's okay.

Where is she?

It's 11:30 now and still no word. Maybe she is going to forget me again tonight? No phone call, no note, no thoughts for her 15 year old daughter.

I can't really cook. I haven't tried much since the time that I almost caught the stove on fire, and then had to scream for my sister to help, because I didn't know what to do. Even if I could cook, there's no food in the house.

I suppose these things happen when your mother only comes home to sleep, sometimes. I don't even leave anymore. I just sit and wait for my mom to come home or call. I've been sitting for a while now.

It hurts to know you rarely, if ever, think of me, even though I never think of you, unless it's to wonder if you're thinking about me. I obsess.