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I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am not likely to change the world in any significant way. Of course, I could argue that there are around six and a half billion worlds, right now, so I'm actually changing a few of them. I'm tired of wondering if what I see is what's there. I'm fantastically paranoid, I'm always worried that the house is on fire, and I don't know. Not, like, there's a pile of boxes in the basement smouldering. That the whole house is aflame, and I'm so.. detatched I can't see or hear them, can't feel the heat, won't know as I burn up. I'm concerned with missing my own death. Not knowing I'm dead.