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I freeze up, I can't do a fucking thing. I hate it. I hate it. Owen's not home five days of seven. Without him I sort of hibernate. Judge this however you please, but without someone, I'm nothing much. I've always been this way, I wrestled with it for nineteen years, and accepted it. Not everyone can be a strong emotionally dependent stubborn assed loner. I wish I was. God, I wish I was. I want to be Lazarus Long.