I get a little hung up (HAHA PUN) about dick size. I don't like to brag about having a large penis, because I feel like that's insulting to other guys with small penises. Like, if I feel proud and awesome about having one that exceeds the average by a few inches, does that mean that if I were instead born with an average or a small penis, I should be ashamed of it? If my penis were small, I think I'd feel kind of constantly furious at the whole world trying to make me feel bad about it. I really don't like the idea that dudes are made to feel ashamed about not having monster cocks, and I feel like if I ever brag about (or even mention) my dick size that I'm contributing to a culture that hurts men and makes them feel inadequate.

I've had a couple girls who were flirting with me ask me about my dick size, and I always get conflicted. I think I've always fallen back on "I'd rather that be private unless if I'm in a relationship with someone." And if they think that I don't want to admit to having a small penis, and if they don't want to bang me because they think that might be the case, then I'm totally cool with not being involved with such a shallow person.

I was once flirting with another female friend who was considering having sex with me when she said, "Oh, uh... you don't have a big dick do you?" with kind of an unpleasant, pained look on her face. I gave her kind of a guilty shrug and she told me "I really don't like big dicks. It's just not comfortable for me." We didn't end up having sex, and I think it had more to do with a "I just want to be friends" thing than strictly a dick thing.

I think we should stop being judgmental (even in a positive way) about dick size. I appreciate all of the compliments that I've gotten about my own, but they still make me feel uncomfortable. I mean, I didn't earn it. Dicks don't grow a little longer for every good deed in your life. A big ol' dangler is cool to have, but sizes are assigned to us dick-havers completely randomly, and I don't think our self-esteem should be dictated by something that's left up to chance.

Ha. "Dictated."