Physical

4 years, 1 month ago
Link to this thought

It was hard for me to be physical. I've been in a relationship with a girl that I love for almost a year now, and I am still terrified to be sexual with her. We both are females, committed to one another but live polyamorously, and both were damaged by sexual assaults, and have trouble being physical because it feels like a means to an end. I want nothing more than to touch her, make her feel loved and as beautiful as I see her.

And I met someone, a guy who makes me feel appreciated and wanted. Who's touch ignites me, who I can be comfortable around, who handles me like I am something that will shatter in his hands. He respects me, makes me laugh, and more importantly, we have incredible sex that is effortless and satisfying. I dont feel damaged, I dont panic.

I used to be so afraid. And I feel so great. I want to share this with her, I want to make her unafraid, as I have become.

But physicality can ruin so much, can't it?