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I think I'm slowly finding myself again. It's been a long time since I could sit by myself and feel okay with that, but I think it's happening. The pain in my chest is subsiding, day by day, but in return I think I saw a glimpse of a spark back in my eye. I don't like some parts that I'm slowly realizing are their, but I'm acknowledging them. I'm going to work on them, slowly, but surely.
Imagine a laboratory testing animal, a rat or a rabbit, with all of it's skin removed. Pumped full of something that won't let it die. Hanging suspended by hooks through claws, hair, anything but the exposed nerves and muscles, because supporting your own weight by toenails, teeth and hair isn't nearly as painful as a hook, a clamp, anything pulling on, or even touching, the parts of a living creature that are not built to deal with such a simple thing as air.