My fucking roommate wakes me up every fucking night at 6:00 in the morning with her fucking snoring (it sounds like a full-grown raccoon is trying to dislodge itself from her wind pipe). If she wakes me up tonight... I am SERIOUSLY going to smother her.

i fell asleep on his arm last night...and his arm fell asleep too. i woke up when he had to move his arm. he said i was snoring.