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I want to feel this emotion again and have it be longer than a day at the most. I'm tired of cycling through so quickly that it's freaky and worrisome. I don't have anyone to tell the really deep dark secrets to that will understand that I don't want them to comment, just absorb it and reserve judgment. That's what I lack. It wouldn't bring me joy, it would bring me a release, I think. What would bring me joy is...yet to be determined. I guess I have time.