Masochistic

Have you ever had something happen that hurts you really bad, but no matter how much it hurts you keep replaying it in your head? It's like those sores in your mouth that you keep poking with your tongue although you know it's going to hurt like a bitch or a scab that you keep picking although you know it needs time to heal. That's what I'm doing right now. I swear it's like some weird form of masochism. It hurts, but I allow it to continue playing. Over and over and over...