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I feel so fucking weird, and I can't talk to anyone about it because my phone is broken right now. Also because it's 7 AM and everyone I know is asleep. I can't fall asleep presumably because I feel weird right now. This is a problem that will not remedy itself before cycling through a great many times.
I am weird because I am pierced not on the outside but inside not with pain I made myself but with the arrows of the lies i've been told burrs of careless words scars of hunger and loneliness. And so I choose for my outside all the beauty I can find all the wholeness I can embrace and I'll collect the broken toys and put back the arms on dolls and erase the smears and dry your tears. Because this is what I want and if I give it to you, you can give it to me. God I love all your broken pieces.
I had two of the weirdest dreams I've ever had last night. The first one I can pass off for the most part, but the second one makes absolutely no sense. I was at McDonalds, and I ordered food, but then for some reason I went to the back of the line and ate my food on the way back to the front. When I got there I ordered some manner of ice cream, but the chick working the counter made it all come out of the ice cream machine at once, and it looked like some gelatinous cake, then she just scooped it into the cup. And then somehow it was in a water bottle when she gave it to me. And it was liquid. At that point I got a call so I woke up. I think I also was flirting with the chick at one point? I don't do anything in that dream pretty much ever: go to McDonalds, get back in line on the rare occasion that I do get fast food, eat ice cream, or hit on people who are working.
Today I met a girl who I used to talk to online a lot. Like, back when I was a freshman in high school. She was dating a couple of my friends, at different times. I was thinking about her the other day, actually. Weird. Also today, my friend from elementary school came into the store. His sister grew up with one of the people I work with too, but she wasn't there today. Small world.