Istatement

View Thinker #1f6774's profile thought 17 years, 8 months ago...

When I was in grade school, the guidance councelor spoke to our class once and taught us the "magic" of I-Statements.

They are so incredibly bullshit, I didn't even believe they'd work at all then, when I was like, 6 years old.

They work like this - when someone does something that bothers you, and you feel the need to communicate this to them in a nonconfrontational way, you say:

"I" - how their action makes you feel - "when you" - what that action is - (full stop) - "I" - what you want them to do, usually "wish you would stop" or similar.

For example: "I feel bad when you insult me. I would like you to stop."

However, even as a kid I never dared use this monstrocity, figuring the schoolyard conversation would go a little something like this:

Me: "Mr. Bully - I feel bad when you insult me. I would like you to stop."

Bully: "Well, I feel sad that you exist. I would like to punch you."

(violence insues, etc.)

I just find it hard to believe that it would work in most situations, because usually when someone's pissing you off, it's on purpose.

Hitler wouldn't have been stopped by a timid "Mr. Hitler - I feel bad when you persecute the jews and commit genocide. I would like you to stop."

Although it would have been really funny to have seen someone try that.

I've always wanted someone to use an I-Statement on me so I can reply:

"Well, I feel bad when you use I statements. I wish you would stop."

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