Once

Once, long ago, I dated this lovely boy. He was perfect for my needs at the time. I was never too great at the open emotional connection, I'm still not great at it in fact... He came around in a very pivotal point in my life. Then, just like everything else, it seemed to catch fire and it burned inside of me, this strange new passion. He seemed to have found some tender for the little flame in my soul. With him I could do anything, be anyone, mold into any situation. Sadly, he was gone all to soon with a bullshit reason that he didn't really explain later on.

I thought we were done with that portion of our lives.... he's what I would consider my first real boyfriend. I thought we were just to be friends from one day three or four months after we broke up until forever.

Then, suddenly, without any warning....he's back... my first amazing kiss has returned.

Without any sort of tact he basically told me he made a mistake... that day was almost three years ago. How could he be so insensitive. He claimed that he was jealous whenever he heard I was dating someone new. He surely didn't intend for me to be here forever, waiting, his pleasant little fall back when shit got tough. Well fuck that. I moved on with my life, I date whoever whenever I want and I love it. I love every moment. I have found myself loving more people than they could ever imagine that I would have. He doesn't know me anymore... I'm no longer that girl... that young, naive girl. I've grown up...moved on... He's a military kid, I'm pro peace .... why does he always have the worst timing?

All I need is one time with him. Just once, I know it's wrong and i know that it will never happen. But all I want is one time. I could never do that though. I'm too morally against it. Still, thinking about it, I know that it would be amazing.