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Stop, stop it just let it go already. Please. For the love of your already tenuous grasp on sanity. Tear it out, snarl at the pain of it, then slap some antiseptic on and ignore it. It'll sting a bit but then it'll heal and you can forget and move on. Poking at it and letting it just fester there in the back of your mind is killing you. I know it's crap. Shit happens, suck it up and move past it. For that matter, why are you still here...?
sorry about the outburst. (though i think there's something very/fundamentally un-ether about having to apologize for being weak)
if it was an attack on anybody, it was an attack on myself.
it's comforting to know that other people doubt the worthiness/validity of their postings and their thoughts- judging by your reactions, i'm not the only one.
trying to start drama?
okay, chill. instead of making sarcastic edits, try to see why your post is obviously going to piss people off.
i don't know about anyone else here, but just speaking for myself, the ether is kinda a safe space. it's a place where i'm not going to be told that my mental meanderings are invalid, or that i should demure to someone more intelligent, or that i'm babbling. i can write out all the little quirky thoughts that pop into my head, post beautiful moments, random questions, snippets of poetry, pleas for help or sympathy, and silly anecdotes from my every day life, and i feel like it's not going to be judged or rated.
it's more of a fantasy than anything, because obviously someone is always judging my posts and deeming them worthwhile or not. but someone SAYING that my post is not worthwhile (truthfully, everyone is going to take this personally, so i might as well too) is a little worse than just passively knowing someone is thinking it's not worthwhile. it's like popping my little "safe space" bubble.
i feel like i'm fairly protective of the ether. the fact that it exists as a blank forum full of likewise meandering minds, a safe place to vent what i'm really thinking, has filled a little void in my life. something like this takes away the safety of it.
not that i'm afraid of disagreement on here. there's a difference between being told your ideas are wrong and your ideas are worthless. frankly, i'm always up for disagreement- it makes me question my own perspective and often sheds light on some things. but being told my ideas are worthless because they're not deep enough or i'm not knowledgeable enough... frankly it sucks.
and i know you're going to say THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING but that's what it felt like when i first read this post. i'm sure it wasn't meant personally for any particular member (or maybe it was) but i know i sure as hell took it personally. it hit me like a baseball bat to the face.
i don't know if this made any sense at all, but i felt the need to write out a longer reason why i reacted in such a kneejerk way originally.
STOP! Please just make it stop! Just for a moment! I wasn't done with that tender scene of friendship yet! Rewind... REWIND! I want to live it all again! Live with all my friends! I didn't get much done, but at least I lived with joy.
Would I change things? Maybe... perhaps I would have made my schedule less demanding... more time for me, more time for my friends, more time I actually notice, instead of letting it slip by in monotony.
One year left. That's all I've got... and by george I'm gonna live it up. Sure I'll be missing some peices, very valuable ones... like a piece of an eye, or a flower, or a heart... but maybe I'll find a new puzzle to fit with... maybe. When did point B cease to exist? I know I must have jumped directly to Z, because time went all too quickly for me to notice anything other than I wasn't close enough to U.
Oh man... oh man oh man... I guzzle this fuel, and off go my words like rockets.
RIP Junior Year.
gAnGsTa CaPs sUpPoRtErS
