Small

I am a timid person, I know this. in unfamiliar places and situations I shrink back into myself, finding it easier not to do anything than to broach the terrifying unknown.

it's a confidence thing, I think. when I'm feeling even the least bit unsure of myself I lack the confidence to do, well... pretty much anything new alone. everything becomes scary and difficult and I diminish myself into a tiny useless mewling thing, hiding away from the world in my cave, dreaming of the day I will be big and strong again.

a helping hand can guide me from the cave, but it is the nature of the smallness to feel unworthy of such magnanimity, and thus not to ask for it.

these are the small days, the small moments, this is the killing smallness.