Feeling

I feel nothing. There's a void inside me. My physical body is there, but my soul is not. I can laugh, smile, cry, yell, but I still can't feel like I used to before. I know there is something terribly wrong with me, but I am powerless against this darkness.

What I've read The sculptures laying around Busts of what's happened – not what's happening For the feelings disassociate. Clash with what's happened today. Like showing up at an accident Minutes after it has occurred.

He wants to know what I'm doing. He can't figure out the feelings from inside. I want to know what she's doing. I can only figure what the feelings are inside. The feelings clash, aren't connected with my thoughts. My thoughts aren't connected to feelings. My feelings unprecedented They have a cramp; can't get my mind off them.

I just know it wasn't time for him to go.

i am: happy- because i fixed my internet and i just ate a great dinner sad- because i am alone in my bed. sorry- because i hurt you. i miss you so much and im ashamed of it. horny- if i dont have sex soon im going to jump someone. amused- because my toes are painted different colors angry- because i am a selfish girl

I had a strange dream last night, though I don't remember much of it. The thing I most vividly remember is the end. I was curled up against a guy's (my boyfriend in the dream maybe?) bare chest, my face buried in his neck. I think I may have been crying, and we were soaking wet (we were at a water park for some reason...) but he had his arms (which were very muscular and nice) around me and I felt completely comforted. I can remember how his skin felt, how warm he was, how good he smelled. I really miss the feeling of being in someone's arms like that.

This can't last right? This feeling of complete emptiness, this feeling that makes me want to cry all the time, this feeling that's telling me that I really don't want to be here, even though in my heart i know I do. This feeling of not looking forward to anything anything anymore. I'm not dealing with this very well.