Thirty

At the opposite end of the spectrum, I am back down to thirty milligrams. I'm going down a gram a day. One month until I'm off of this hellish stuff that probably saved my life, certainly save my relationship and health insurance.

Today I was told that my friend's dad won't live another thirty days, and he's lucky if he makes it through the night.

Why is everyone dying?

Today is the third day I've consumed thirty milligrams of methadone at a counter with a nurse watching me, and other people trying to sell me the substances I'm trying to hide from. Makes me stupid, makes me legal. Maybe someday it will help make me better. I might have to take more. Nothing makes you feel more like an addict then the first step of recovery.