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One: I'm a wallflower, that's just what I do. I like being around energy, but I don't really like being immersed in it. That is not my fault, and it's not your fault, and it's not anyone's fault because it's simply not a FAULT. It's just how I work. You actually might have noticed that I basically do that at every party.
Two: If I'd been drunk, I CERTAINLY would not have been sitting outside smoking. I would have been partying hard, because drunk I can and will dance for any number of hours, simply for the sake of dancing for those hours.
Three: I'm not gonna argue the depressing part; somehow you do always catch me at my worst moments. That night I was desperately trying to understand chemicals to which I was completely unaccustomed; there's no real excuse for that but it needed to happen, and it coincidentally happened then and there.