Ginger

God dammit. I hate this. I want her. But I have you. I pushed you away. She is far from me and it won't be easy. For some reason I chose her. You are here and spending evenings with you drives me crazy. You wont let me into your head bc of what I did. I turned you down and I am sorry. But I had to do it before you got too swept up. I had to hurt you now to keep you from hurting later. I can't help that I flirt with you. When I spend time with you I just wanna grab you, pull your body to mine, and kiss you. I can't and I restrain myself, but it is so hard. It is especially hard when you look so sad. I can't stand it and I know that kissing you would make it all better, if only for the moment. I want you but I still am wrapped up in her. Oh I want to just kiss you.