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maybe it's the alcohol, but... dude. I'm not even sure what went down just now. there was hugs and being dragged into photos and hands skittering up my back, and that thing he does when he gets right up close to your ear and talks and I don't even remember what he was saying but my fucking god, his voice! it's like aural sex, that cultured cambridge accent and deep voice...
apparently he's into me, like her, except he's slept with her(and is doing so again right now, I know) because she's single and much more forward than I am. I played the shy wallflower all night, relishing having the power of intrigue and mystery, but I know for a fact it could be me in bed with him right now and not her(or both?).
but I resisted, I looked away and blushed because I have to ask permission first. and no doubt tomorrow will wash away all my anxiety, because one look at your face makes me wonder why I'd ever be interested in anyone else.
I have a strong need to flirt with any guy that takes an interest in me. It is a weakness of mine, in some ways. But then again I think it could be good. It puts a little fun in my generally reserved life. The only problem is that sometimes the situation is just not right, and yet I can't help it.
As I am standing, looking into your eyes, thinking to myself, "damn, you're hot!" but what can I do about it. From my ample judgment, I knew that you were not straight, but I was still powerless to you. I could not say to you, "Hey, if you are not busy, wanna go for a Cup @ the Cup?" It was not going to work like that. What is in flirting, how should I have indicated to you that I wanted for you to take interest in me! I am bound to cold slab of rock at the bottom of a well called, awkwardness...