Nervous

When I have to confront someone about something and there's a sense of aggression from them, I have a strong nervous reaction. Rationally, I know that there's nothing to worry about, but that doesn't stop my heart from pounding like someone's slugging me in the chest with every beat. Even if I just have to talk to them on the phone. It's really annoying.

I suppose it comes from me not having much experience approaching male-aggression-conflict-type situations. Either I avoid them entirely or I find myself in the middle of them and I switch into a problem-solving mode where there's not much of a sense of any emotion. But when that mode doesn't switch on, I don't get that fearless, unstoppable demeanor. I just have a heart that's trying to pound its way out of my chest and a pair of hands that won't stop shaking.

Annoying. There's absolutely nothing to fear, ever, but my heart just has these triggers. It makes me even more frustrated with the person in question because they're making me lose my cool.

Fucking irritating.