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I should've known it would fall apart when it took drugs to fall in love. And only there, under the influence, did you ever let me see your true radiant self. Would it be cruel to have admitted a little sooner, that we only loved each other when we were blind instead of falling into roles and lies and I would be afraid of your recurrent overdoses that you weathered with vitamin c to survive.
I still think ecstasy was the best thing that ever happened to me. Because as I tagged along on your trips I discovered freedom.
I just wish, a let more intact version of you in my wake.
But we got a cat together and unlike me, the cat doesn't project her fears of death onto you, and you seem to be doing ok with that.