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I just can't seem to decide. Do I like him, or just the idea of him? Do I really like him, or is he just convenient? He's such a great guy, and he's one of my best friends, I'm just not sure if I only feel this way because I am just in love with the idea of being in love... despite the fact that it scares the crap out of me. I know at some point I will have to risk being hurt again, but I'm not sure if this is the right time. Then again, I really doubt he would hurt me. Actually, I'm more afraid that I would hurt him, that I would lose the friendship we've found.
I just don't know. He seems to have all the good qualities that I want in a guy, but I feel like something isn't there. Maybe it's my childish fantasy of warm fuzzy feelings that's missing, and if that is the case then it's not a problem. Maybe the fact that i've grown up so much since the last time I was in this situation is making everything seem so strange.
I guess I'll just see what happens. It's just hard for me to be patient. Part of me really wants to dive right in, but the other part of me is content to just dip my toes in the water.
Oh well... I'll figure it out eventually.