Doubt

How much wood

Could a woodchuck chuck

If you stopped questioning whether

A woodchuck COULD chuck wood?

There is still doubt in my heart, still fear. I can't move on unless I take care of that. Too bad I can't tell you this. One day, maybe.

Sometimes I start to doubt myself. These fluorescent lights are glaring at me accusingly, tacitly questioning why I haven't accomplished more. I'd answer, but I don't like what the answer is.

This is the first time I've doubted myself about this since...ever. Today, for the first time I just feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. I guess for the first time ever, I'm really afraid of failure. Any other time before this I just dive in head first knowing that I would come out perfectly fine.

I guess I'm not exactly afraid of failure. I know I"m not going to fail. I think I'm afraid of how hard I'll have to work to not fail. I'm not trying to brag or make myself to seem so great, it's just that things come easily to me. Anything I have tried (in an intellectual sense) I've been relatively good at.

I think I might be putting too much pressure on myself. I guess I want so badly for everything to be perfect that I'm creating reasons for it to go wrong.

I'm going to go to sleep. Maybe, after a good rest I'll be able to see things more clearly, and I won't be so jittery.