Childish

It's such a funny word... childish. It means different things to different people. To some people, it is synonomous with "immature" and to others, it just means a youthful spirit.

I tend to go for the youthful spirit side of things. I still love playing hide n' seek outside the school library. I've gotten a bunch of college students to play Red Rover with me (which was much more violent than when I was smaller... more mass, more force). I love bubbles, and I can't help but wonder at everything.

But I don't think of myself as immature. I can handle complex matters. I'm in control of my emotions. I'm not passive agressive, I don't throw fits. I will say though, I have that youthful tendancy to think the best of everyone, which can end up with me being hurt. I fall into those traps so easily.

I couldn't help but care about you, you know. You had so many issues, and I have the urge to take care of everyone around me. But you hadn't grown up yet. You didn't know how to get attention without hurting yourself or others. You didn't know when to stop yourself and take a break most of the time. And when you took a break, you just let yourself crash.

I cared for you. You sucked up my life and spit it out in tiny pieces. Eventually it got to the point where I had heard every single one of your issues so many times, I was desensitized. And then you threw me away. One day, you just stopped talking to me. Bitch.

No goodbye, no reasons, just sudden disconnection. You don't even SEE me when I walk past you.

And you call me childish.