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I want to remember what it feels like to have someone touch me. my face, my hands, my hair. I want to remember what it feels like to wake up next to someone with a smile, for all of your thankfulness. I want to have someone please me, I want passion, and kisses. I want to find love again
I shouldnt know what your skin feels like against mine. i shouldnt crave the taste of it against my lips. i shouldnt tremble as the tip of your fingers slides across my hip and up my body. i shouldnt push you against the wall and kiss you. i shouldnt let you trap my hands above my head. i shouldnt dream about sleeping n your bed. i shouldnt make plans to be with you when no one else is near. i shouldnt pull away and then come back when you pull my hand. i shouldnt remember what you feel like when i silp inside you. i shouldnt want to undress you. i shouldnt know what you want me to do. i shouldnt give in to you. to us. to what could be. i know i would just be another girl. as long as i can hold out i know that you want me. but i shouldnt want to give in so badly. you plague me. in my dreams and my thoughts. the feel of your fingers brushing my hair behind my ear. the way you come behaind me and wrap your arms around me. its a game we play. a dangerous game. if i slip a little you sneak into my mind. with a whisper and a sigh i almost let you win. its only her eyes that save me. that stop me. her deep brown eyes filled with love. in that moment when i am pulling your shirt over your head. in the moment when i feel your skin on mine, i see her eyes. and i pull away. safe this time. stopping before what i want so bad to happen does. i shouldnt want you. but i do.