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Why, yes, Mr. Stuffshirt, I do have a unique set of skills. Let's start with the skill dearest to me. I can love someone like there's no tomorrow. I can love them so much, I believe that the love will overcome everything else, so I do incredibly shitty things to that person. But I can love with a frightening intensity.
I can find you what you want, drugs or lovers. I can switch and run around, do a few things, and come back with a quarter OZ, three packs of smokes, some beer, some blow, and some pills, all earned by my hooking other people up.
I can do a rail so big you'll wonder what my sinuses look like, how I have two brain cells left to remember my name. I can put away a fifth of something expensive by myself, and the pass a DUI field test. I can last for weeks on pills and pop, cleaning the house overly, washing the dog too much, thinking of you and what we had. Even though I don't use needles, in the name of the comfort of my friends, I know how. So lay back, put the end of the tourniquet in your mouth, and let mama hook you up. I will obsessively try to find you someone, circumstances allowing. I'll at least make sure you're warm at night.