Foreboding

It occurred to me how familiar the situation was, except that I was on the other side this time. It made me deeply happy in a way. But then I remembered what happened to him, and wondered if she'll end up growing up with the same experience I did. It bothered me that that might happen to her, but I was comforted by the thought that she would probably handle it better than I did.

It makes me hesitant to be known by anyone. I feel like an impending car wreck, and they're all pedestrians who would later be thankful that they weren't close enough to get hurt.

I seem to be either stuck too deeply in the present or split too poignantly between the distant past and future. I'm either lost in the moment or attached too firmly to tragic patterns in time, either real or imagined. I need to focus more on the people that exist now, instead of skipping ahead to their conclusions.

I need to silence my brain. It chatters away incessantly at me and I often doubt that it actually tells me anything of value.

It's just a car ride with your niece to Olive Garden. Not a reflection of the foreshadowing of eventual loss. Quit flavoring every experience with needless negativity. You don't need to. Life manages to be interesting enough without it.