Harsh

Words fly out of my mouth and cut you emotionally before I even realize anything's going on.

I was raised in an atmosphere of hate and negative gossip, I breathed it in, it dripped into my ears, and the hateful words punched into my brain like staples.

I apparently exude badassery. I wasn't aware of this. I'm a soft squishy marshmallow, always fearfully watching for the next pointy stick to spear my emotional core and hold it over an open flame.

I can emotionally cripple someone in passing, not thinking, focusing only on how much I need to pee. Razors creep into my voice, and I don't even hear them.

I did not grow up around normal people. I always knew this, but this problem, for some reason, seems to drive that home. I think I'm new and improved, and it turns out I'm still a fucked up mess. I fight the ghost of your ex-wife in my sleep, and my own demons when I'm awake.

I'm tired. You're the only thing in the world that consistently makes me happy, and I can't keep from hurting you.