Impatient

I'm very impatient. I just wish things would happen, yet I'm not sure how to make them happen. I know it seems easy in theory, but I don't want to mess things up. I've never done this before. I want to make sure that we're both on the same page. I want to make a move, but I'm terrified of the consequences, good or bad.

I just need to make up my mind. Do I make things happen so I can quit waiting, or do I take my time to make sure that I don't get hurt?

I've always had the problem where I like to wait for the best possible moment to strike, but often that means I wind up waiting forever for an opportunity that never comes, and it withers away. At some point, the best opportunity was there, but I didn't see it or held out for something better and thus missed the boat entirely.

So now I'm stuck in an altogether different situation where I want more than anything to actually act, but my best advice is telling me not to - that if I don't play this one slow and cautiously, I'll fuck it all up, and self-destruct what could be the best thing to happen to me. Gold is being dangled in front of me, but if I look too greedy, it'll be pulled away, maybe forever.

So, I've been waiting. But i'm growing restless. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

Patience is a shitty virtue because whether you have it or not, the situation that requires it still sucks.