Patience

at what point does patience "expire"? does it depend on the person, if you can remain sane long enough to hopefully get what you're waiting for? or after a certain amount of time, do people start to think you are an idiot for holding onto empty desires, hoping and waiting for something that might never happen? mixed signals don't help either. bouts of affection and good conversation, then days without anything at all. i keep my phone in my pocket just in case he sends me a text. it's been two weeks. but at the same time, i keep thinking that this brief lack of communication is merely because we are both busy finishing up school, and all this week i had finals. has he given me time to myself in order to study to do well? or is he starting to move on for good, without me? some days, i just want to give up hope. on this, on everything. today is one of those days. this was my last day of school for the summer. i should be happy.

Apparently I have the patience of a saint for putting up with him and loving him despite his many flaws. Most people think I'm blind to them, but I assure you - uncaring Internet people that you are - I know him better than anyone, flaws and all.

He's lazy, he's chronically untidy, he's messy and careless and a terrible procrastinator. He has an awful persecution complex that means he goes out of his way to cover his ass, so coming off as passive-aggressive. He's proud and vindictive and he has a cruelly manipulative streak a mile wide.

He is also friendly, incredibly creative and talented, helpful to a fault, and responsible even when nobody else is. He's optimistic and daring, intelligent and witty, patient, kind and the most loving man I've ever met. He's got charisma by the bucketload, and he's never too proud to deny someone a second chance.

I love him, but love doesn't make me blind. If anything it lets me see clearer than ever.