Tiresome

Been rather suicidal again lately. Seems to come and go. I just ride out the waves. Eventually something brings me out of it. Anywhere between 3-9 months later it'll relapse. We ride out the rollercoaster of emotions over and over again. It's so tiresome.

Sometimes I just want to do it to give everyone, including myself, a fucking break. I feel sorry for you loyal bastards. I can't even fucking stand being around myself when I get like this. I wish I had a miracle cure. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and know I'd be normal.

I need a reset button.