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I remember the way my knee felt when your hand touched it for the first time. I remember the giddiness I felt every time your car pulled up and the way the light danced in your eyes when we were on shrooms. I remember the time you kissed my head as we danced in an empty venue to The Bagman's Gambit. The songs on the CD you made me. I remember that you were always there when I needed you.
You were the calm eye at the center of my hurricane life. No matter how erratic or unstable or fragile I was, you'd talk me through guided meditation or build me a minecraft treehouse, or just hold me and reassure me and chase away the nightmares.
You knew me honestly and loved me in spite of it. The time and distance and relationships between then and now make it hard to have new moments like that with you, but I swear I'll get better at staying in touch. I miss having you as a regular part of my life.