Empty

Without her I am empty. My heart empty. My insides aching. I left her again today. My love, my life, my future. We shared the most wonderful weekend full of love, laughter, life, light, smiles. She makes me feel so whole. So complete. Beautiful. Sexy. Loved. I almost forgot what it felt like to kiss the person I love. My first kiss with her was incredible, fullfilling, passionate. I almost forgot how beautiful she was. How beautiful her brown eyes are when the light hits them. How big she smiles for me. How it felt to be in her warm arms. Pressed against her soft skin, tucked into her chest. Feeling her kind tender heart. Everything I am is wrapped up in her. My happiness, my heart, my passion. It scares me to love someone the way I love her. Everytime I say goodbye I leave a piece of my heart with her. A piece of my soul. The only way I get it back is to get closer to her. I am scared that I am too dependent on her. That she will leave me because of my emotional instability. Scared that she does not show me her true feelings about how much she hurts too, I know she doesn't. I love her for being brave. Among my fears, I know how much I love her and how much she loves me. My love for her is beyond any emotion I have ever experienced for another human being. She is more than my girlfriend. More than my best friend. She is my future wife, the mother of my future children. I fight back tears thinking about how much I miss her. I will feel like this everyday until I see her again. The sun is setting on this day, this morning I woke up in her arms, full. Tonight I will have only my arms to hold me. I will watch her sleep but my bed will remain empty. I will go to sleep, my heart will be emptier than It was this morning. My soul is missing its' mate.

Recently, I've been feeling really empty inside. I don't know what it is, so I don't know where to look for it. I think it might be just the stress that's getting to me. I think what I really want is someone to make me feel like I'm not turning into a huge failure.