Orgasm

Well, by random chance of happening to discover it from a documentary I watched tonight, I learned about a rare disorder that causes people to not find orgasms pleasurable.

Now that I know that that IS a real thing, and a legit, recognized disorder...

Then, uh... yeah. I think that more or less accurately describes what I've experienced. So I think I have that.

Kind of nice to find out it's not just me I guess, but kind of alarming to figure out you probably have a disorder, heh.

Granted, I've already kinda made my peace with it so I'm not gonna seek treatment (which sounds mostly ineffective anyway). I still find sex enjoyable for other reasons (to account for the lack of physical pleasure), so whatever.

And if anything, the only reason I ever found this to be a problem was feeling guilt when my partner was trying really hard to please me... So now that I can point to this, it seems like expectations can be changed to address that problem.

I still love that she put in effort to try to please me-- I just don't want my partner to feel like they're failing when I'm not getting anything out of it physically. I don't want her to think it's her fault.

So, I guess this is useful news.

He told me that he can't get off without thinking about me.

I hope it stays that way.