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My randomness is kept in check by massive amounts of anxiety.
Of course, then it builds up and bursts through, and I do dumb things, like confess attraction to someone I just know I shouldn't.
Being attracted to someone is treated like being diseased.
I do too many things on a whim. I randomly commit to things that I later have no interst in. I spend money that I shouldn't and then wonder where it went. I talk randomly to strangers when I see them staring at the same pair of shoes or book that I am. This is one of my worst faults. I randomly change my mind about everything and never get anything done at all.
I'm such a spastic random decision maker. It annoys me.
Sometimes I wish I were a bit more spontaneous and spastic about my decisions. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just putting myself in a jar and keeping myself there for more than just a safety reason that I was unaware I'd made in the first place.
are you awake?
are those the words you want
to say to me?
can these words
provoke. provide. prolong.
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