Reality

I don't know which thoughts to trust. I want to disengage; from everything, including you, my sweetest lover.

At times I think the Crone sees most clearly, shrewdly, honestly. Her perceptions are guided by the harshest realities of life. She has wisdom.

But I am not yet a crone. Is her jaded wisdom untethered by the best humanity, life, has to offer?

Oh, I hope the wisdom that guides me to old age includes innocent hope.

I'm not really sure what's real anymore.

I take that back.

I do know what's real, and what's real isn't what I want.

I dread waking up in the morning, because I'd rather stay in my dreams. At least there I can find what I want, what i crave, what I need so badly...Dreams are all I have any more. Everything is so RIGHT when I'm there.

Reality is going to kill me. I can feel it. It's going to drive me mad because it holds nothing for me anymore, but I'm forced to live in it.

i keep having to remind myself what reality really is, because when i'm with you everything just seems so perfect. it's too bad it's not