Airport

Flight delayed. Fuck fuck fuck.

I fell asleep on the airplane and dreamed of putting my palms on the hard upslope of his jaw bone, tips of fake nails resting on his cheeks and everyone around us looking in the way that they become the audience for our movie script life. We kissed and the pilot's voice jarred me into awakeness as we began to descend... 800 miles farther away and yet closer than ever.

I sit here in the airport with its tacky carpets (beige and maroon airplanes) and people watch a little, heart beating up in my throat struggling to type even though I have another hour and a half in this uncomfortable seat and and four and a half in the plane where I will wonder when exactly we are going to crash. I know him so well, and I'm so nervous. I miss him so bad and I want to go home.

I wish I didn't have any more time to think about my decisions. I know as soon as I see him all my doubts will be gone but I still wonder when exactly this fairy tale is going to end and reality will set in. How badly I want this crazylove to last forever. How much this afternoon seems like forever away.

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