I have started typing up my journals into a blog. I've kept a diary for 12 years. This is supposed to help me to deal with the shit in my life, but honestly every time I work on the journal project I just want to slit my wrists.
I'm scared. I'm scared of people reading my words, judging my thoughts and actions. I'm scared to know what's in the diary I haven't cracked in years. I'm afraid of looking into that mirror.
At the same time, rereading has shown how much I've changed. And one of the changes is this fearfulness. When did that take over? I never used to worry.
I don't understand myself sometimes.