Scared

I'm scared.

I'm scared I won't do well on my degree. I'm scared the stress will out and out kill me this time. I'm scared I won't get a job when I graduate, scared I still won't have enough money to live independent of my parents.

I'm scared, completely and utterly irrationally, that my love might leave me for our new housemate, because they get on so well together and spend hours talking about projects they're working on together and card games that I'm not interested in to the same extent. that they get on so well scares me. I feel excluded and stupid because I can't follow their deckbuilding theories. scared that they might be lying when they say they're not interested.

Why am I so scared right now? I'm scared of affection, I'm scared of showing affection, I'm scared of my feelings, I'm scared of failure, I'm scared of not being accepted. I'm scared for my family. My world is fear right now.