Hole

There is a gaping hole in my being that nothing can seem to fill. There is this sadness that won't go away. I have tried so hard to fill it. Fill it with religion Fill it with alcohol Fill it with drugs ( prescribed ) Fill it with more drugs ( not prescribed ) Fill it with my career Fill it with my friends Fill it with my lovers Fill it with my fucks Fill it with accomplishment Fill it with introspection

And there it sits like a black hole, incapable of being filled. Warping the fabric of my being. And a sit alone, protecting those I care about by isolating myself from them. I spit venom when my mind is focused on the black hole. People this caustic should not be allowed around other living creatures. We shouldn't even be allowed to be around ourselves.

It took till you came back for a visit for me to realize what was missing in my life. You're my best friend, and I didn't realize how much of myself went with you when you went away. I can talk to you about anything, and you talk with me too, like a well rehearsed balancing act. Every time i see you... another oldies song... "Son of a preacher man" haha, and you hate it when I sing that too...

I missed you.

Oh gods.... no way, I refuse to do that cleche thing and realize I've fallen in love with my best friend. I'm pretty sure it's more like... a brother... kinda... ish.

Besides.... you have a girlfriend who was one of your best friends before I was... ... and she's prettier than me...

I'll still be glad to have you back....