Sing

There is this thing that's like fucking except you don't fuck. Back in the day it just went without saying at all. All the world's history gradually dying of shock. There is this thing that's like talking except you don't talk...

...you sing.

Somewhere along the line, I lost the ability to create music. This is a big deal to me.

It used to be that I could work on a song for hours at a time. I wouldn't get hungry or tired, I'd just keep playing and tweaking until I was happy with the result. Somehow this has changed. I have very little stamina in my fingers, so I can only handle playing the guitar in short bursts. My recording gear will work for everyone except me, I have no idea what's wrong with it. But the worst is that the meds I'm on have fucked with my hormones so that my voice has changed. Now my throat gets sore when I sing, I can't sing for very long, and I can't do the shit I used to do vocally.

I'm not writing, mostly because my days are so repetitive. I just keep hoping that at some point in the future my voice will come back. For now, I can only listen. I miss making music.

What's pissing me off the most is that I bought a laptop instead of a netbook for one reason alone: I wanted to be able to record music. Now I have a serious case of buyer's remorse; maybe my interface will work at some point, but right now it doesn't and I can't figure out why. So I dropped an extra $250 for nothing, it seems. Fuck.

View Thinker #277dd3's profile

I thought I was losing it too, especially right after I quit pot. But don't force it! Whatever you do!! Just let it come naturally, and when it does it will be good because it will be true. It'll be things that have been rattling around in your head, it'll be subconscious, and you can trust your instincts because they know how your soul wants to express itself. That's my advice anyway.

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I sing all the time, when no one is around. I like it, but Christ on a cracker, I can't decide what shoes to wear to go to the gas station for smokes. And I can't speak up when someone I don't know talks to me. Doubtful I'll ever do anything with it.

View Thinker #5f1f0a's profile

One thing that helps a lot of people when they are too scared to do something, is they create an alter ego. Then it's really not them doing it. Maybe you should give it a try. It would be sad if you don't do what you love.

View Thinker #77406d's profile

Huh. I never thought of that. Thanks ^.^

View Thinker #77406d's profile

Oh crap, now I'm dying to know what you said. Auuugh.

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I wish I could sing.

It's just not fair that I hate my singing voice so...

as I make great music, and write great lyrics, but cannot combine the two.

and yes, i've tried getting other people to sing the lyrics for me, that worked out even less well.