Depressioncallstome

I've dealt with depression before. To me, it's not like a cloud, or a pool. It's like the most wonderful numbing sensation I've ever known. What's the point, it asks, you know whatever you do it'll just end up breaking in the end. Just sleep. Sleep and dream. Come back to the dreams.

My job is horrible. My boss is hostile. What's worse is that I learned two things-I'm too coward to stand up for anyone and the same goes for everyone else. I'm all alone. I feel so isolated and alienated. I have friends, sure, but they're so few and far between. I have family, but there's so much drama going on I'd just be a proxy to that drama so I stay away. I go through life numb. I've lost interest in what once gave me joy. I just want to not feel. I just want to sleep and dream. And yet, I'm so very afraid that once I take that sleep, I may never want to get back up.