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I miss having that contact with someone. For one night I got it, then it was gone again for two weeks before I had another night. I don't like this game. I miss that feeling of closeness that I would have with any of them. Male or female it never mattered. I just loved sleeping close to them, feeling their warmth and energy. That perfection to remind you that you are not alone. You are not isolated. Sometimes I wonder why it's necessary to have to live apart, why we must go away for the summer to have joyful reunions as fall rolls around and we move back into the dorms. Only, it's never the same again. We will never be the same.
I enjoy the contact that I have with them now, but a phone call or IM or e-mail every so often does not replace the great hugs, the cuddling, the kisses, the touches, the playful punches.... it leaves me feeling quite empty really.