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Me: Check out the sheets. Your effluence has graced them with a stain. Again.
Her: Huh? It's not that time of the month, so I'm-
Me: No, not that effluence.
Her: Oh. (inspects) But I wasn't even up at the head of the bed.
Me: No, but stuff that was in contact with your nether regions were. Remember that you're like a little lawn sprinkler down there.
Her: Well what can we do about that?
Me: I don't know. I could lube up with baby powder before we have sex. (laughs)
Her: Thanks, but I'd rather not make gravy in my vagina.
Me: More comedy gold for Ether, coming right up.