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I can feel my urge to run rising. As much as I say this is what I want, now that I'm faced with it I'm terrified. I know that I'll never forgive myself if I screw this up. I know that I can't run away, but it sounds so appealing to just retract into my little world, where I have nothing more to worry about than getting my next linear algebra assignment done.
Why am I so afraid? Because I've been hurt? I know so many other people who have been hurt and gotten past it, made lasting relationships. So why do I feel so insufficient for the task? Why do I think I'm so inadequate? I honestly have no answers.