Pretend

I'm so sick of pretending to be okay.

Sick of pretending that everything will magically get better.

I can't pretend anymore.

My life fucking blows.

When I was younger I used to love to play pretend games. Now, I can't stop.

Halloween is one of the few times I don't have to pretend to be a straight. It is appropriate and even encouraged to scare the piss out of others. I can be myself and not alienate those who would otherwise misunderstand my unusual predelections as dangerous.

During October 2006 while "acting" in a haunt, I made three women pee themselves and one very burly man fall down and crawl away from me in terror in front of his friends. I made hundreds of people scream; many people break down and sob; several beg to be escorted out; others go into panic attacks or hyperventilate. Just by uttering a name, I caused groups of friends to freeze in their tracks with eyes wide and ears straining.

Until next time, I'll continue to pretend to be similar to my peers so I can lure the ignorant into my web of gentle education and empowerment.

It’ll never happen again. I’ll always say yes. It’s my choice. I’m telling you to use me. I’m in control. I’m in control.

lets all pretend.

Sometimes I only feel like myself when I'm pretending to be somebody completely different.