Housemate

dear ex-housemate,

thank you for deciding to move out. it was cool when you finally told us you wanted to leave, and when we were unsurprised and offered to help you move your stuff that you got really huffy and bitchy - really, I know it was a hard decision so you were a bit on edge that day. no hard feelings! it's nice and friendly in the house with you gone!

thank you for not explaining why you wanted to move out and just making vague statements like 'you know why' and 'we already discussed this at some point' - it's fun trying to think up reasons you might be annoyed. was it the fact that you didn't always get your way? ooh I know, maybe it was because I got fed up with you acting like a child! did I guess right?

thank you for not making any attempt at all to help us move someone into your room until you realised that til you did, you still pay rent for it. that was pretty funny.

but most of all, thank you for not thinking it through. every time you bitch about wanting to hurry up the replacement process so you can claim your rent back, I laugh a little on the inside because I know the landlord isn't going to give you any of the government's money back, and you still have to pay part of the energy bills for this quarter. good job thinking about the consequences before ragequitting!

yours,

your very amused ex-housemates

So I think I might murder my housemate this year. It's three of us in the house like this year was; me, my boyfriend, and her. At the start of this academic year it was just me and himself, but when she decided she wanted to move out of her parent's(local) house, he offered her the spare room and neglected to mention this to me until she came over to inspect the room. Whatever, I thought, it'll be nice to have another girl around to chat to.

Was I ever fucking wrong!

First off, she's not doing well at uni. She's in first year at the school of fine arts, and absolutely hating every minute. Bullshit assignments, crazy lecturers, artfag coursemates, hate hate hate whine whine whine. All she does for the first three months is bitch endlessly about how much her course sucks. So she stops going to class entirely, and eventually starts the process of trying to get transferred to the school of computing, meaning she'll be starting from first year all over again this October. In the meantime, she sits at home drinking tea and drawing furry pornography on commission.

Then, she decides to start playing World of Warcraft with us. Now, just about everyone we know at uni plays or has played WoW; we all know the horror stories and the risks of addiction. My boyfriend and I play very casually, maybe a few hours every three to four days. My housemate... doesn't. Since she has no uni work to do and no job to worry about, she gets addicted bigtime. Her new boyfriend, a recovering addict, gets sucked in as well and suddenly they're spending all day every day playing WoW. His grades are suffering bigtime, but at least he's spending quality time with his girlfriend! All she talks about is WoW and all she posts about on her Livejournal is WoW, mostly bitching about various aspects of the game and how boring it is to have nothing to do but play WoW. Because all she's doing is playing WoW and eating junkfood, she starts getting properly fat too.

Summer comes and everyone goes home. She and her boyfriend go back to their respective parent's houses and continue to play WoW. Since she's getting no student loan over the summer, she proceeds to bitch about being poor and how hard it is to get a job while shooting down every suggestion her friends make because she doesn't want to work in fast food or retail. She eventually bit the bullet and went to an interview at a sandwich shop, then flipped out when they said she couldn't wear her lip ring at work.

When not whining about WoW, she's bitching about other friends of ours or complaining about me not washing up all of her dirty tea mugs. She's amazingly intolerant of new things, especially foods, and the very first time she loses at a game she declares it stupid and refuses to play again.

If she hasn't stopped being such a moody bint by December(by which time she should be too busy with uni work to complain about anything else), I swear to fucking god I will kill her in her sleep.