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I'd like to think I'm an affectionate person, but it really hurts sometimes when I get that way and meet people who seem to only want me because I'm affectionate. Like it's a token or something. And then when I make a boundary to protect myself, I'm made out to be the bad guy. I have so much to offer someone and people in general, it's difficult for me to find the balance between being super affectionate and keeping it to myself when people don't deserve it.
I would like to be more affectionate, especially with him. I just don't know how. When it comes to people outside of my family I'm not good with being affectionate. It took a lot of time for me to even be able to hug someone without over thinking it. Now it's easier. I just wish all of it came easier.
Affection and the means by which we show it are difficult, at best, to put to light in most cases. Some days I want to be affectionate towards people, other days I want nothing more than to recluse into a whole in my wall and pretend that none of it matters anymore. Too many people around me are overly affectionate. They love to fix things with hugs, kisses, touching, etc. I can't handle it, it seems clingy to me. I'll give my friends hugs to wish them a fond farewell, or to greet them when I'm excited to see them or whenever I feel like being touched. But, usually, I don't feel that way, I simply indulge some people. Maybe I'm wrong to do this, but I'll deal with that later in time.
She couldn't find a boy who was affectionate. She found one who was easily controlled, she found one was beautiful and super endowed, she found one who was intelligent but so very far away (freckles, that's you.)
She went twenty years without being held enough, without being cuddled in a way that felt wonderful, instead of mechanical.
She is grateful.
I love to be affectionate. I like expressing my feelings for those I love by hugging, touching, kissing, etc. I didn't know how much affection meant to me until I started dating someone who wasn't as affectionate as I like. I find myself sitting with them and screaming in my head "Touch Me! Kiss Me!" I don't know how to deal with this. I don't want to leave them, I like them a lot. I can't just say it because I don't know how to say it without sounding wrong. All I know is, when they do touch me, my body lights up with intense feelings of love and lust. I want them so badly and that part of it is good. They say that absense makes the heart grow fonder. Oh, my heart is very fond and whenever I'm not with this person, I want to be. I want to be in their arms and kiss their lips and cuddle with them. I guess I'll just have to deal with it for now. Maybe it will change once they get used to being with me.