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It feels like I'm climbing out of a hole that I've been gradually digging for years. When I moved out of state, removing myself physically from decades of history and relationships, I didn't think I would form new ones. Or maybe I didn't want to. Interactions became fleeting and impersonal with new acquaintances and I caught myself telling stories of past adventures with my friends like I was reading my own obituary.
Then I went home and remembered what it felt like to have a circle of people who you enjoy being around. I've started making new friends out of acquaintances. Friends who make bongs out of teapots, always have a slingshot at the right moment, have car problems, always wanna go into the weird little store. Young women with relationship problems. Guys who think I'm mysterious and flirt just enough to make it fun without feeling guilty.