Badfriend

5 years, 4 weeks ago
Link to this thought

You accused me, when I was the victim. You believed him instead of me. You put me in bad situations. You are a terrible human being. I think you deserve everything that has happened to you since then. What goes around comes around, bitch!

I can't help but look back on this entourage of photos and how every time I needed you, you bailed out on me. We were 16 and we were both really confused and I think that at some point in time we have to put all the past behind us.

But we're almost a quarter century old, and you think that now if you listen to me and show concern and money at me that I will be content? that it some how makes up for all of those times that you totally bailed on me when I needed you the most. The time that I hit the roughest part of my life and you were my only friend and all you could say was "I don't have an opinion"?

I forgot sometimes how much it hurts my feelings to see you happy, and sometimes I think that all of the scary rough things you're dealing with now are just karmic payback for all of the mud you drug me through. I'm not your trusted puppy, your ever faithful side kick. I just wanted a friend and you couldn't be one.

God I'm so freaking pissed off about it, but I can't leave some passive aggressive status about it. I can't leave some angry note, because then I'm the bitch. I think that it would all go away if at some point in our life I could look at you and say how much you let me down, and that you would actually apologize and mean it.

Ps. I fucking hate your best friend and the fact that you treat everyone so much better than you ever treated me. I'm beginning to realize you were in fact just in the slew of losers I dated or fell in love with or cared about, that got to where you are now at my expense.

PPs. Sorry anyone who read this. sometimes you just need to let it out you know?